Those of you who have read The Birthday Present will know that the idea of a ten man gang bang with bukkake finish has long been a fantasy of mine. I get really turned on by the idea of ten men, all naked, all erect, all waiting for me to suck their cocks, throbbing in anticipation. The idea of being treated like the cock hungry whore that I am, and ending up absolutely drenched in cum is so delicious that I can almost taste the different loads that cover me. I want to be fucked in every possible way. I want to be airtight. I want...
Someone else to do the admin.
For though it is fun going shopping for men to fulfil my dirtiest fantasy, there are just so many to choose from! This may seem like the opposite of a problem, but I'm struggling not to over think it and my thumb has hovered over so many 'not for me' buttons that it now has muscle memory.
I feel it was a younger, more hopeful me who changed my Bumble profile to read 'looking for ten men to fulfil a fantasy - no dick pics', opened my profile to show it to men too, put my phone down for half an hour and came back to 350+ likes. A more innocent time before I received messages from cocky 19 year olds with instructions to 'gag on my cock'. A golden age where I didn't have to tell men who were trying to get a one to one meeting with me that no, I don't play solo, and no, I was not going to make an exception for them.
I was determined though. I had been wanting to do this for the longest time and who knows what my health and mobility will be like in a year. I could hear the ghost of my mother wailing, "If you let them uuuuuuuuuse you like that, youuuuu'll make yourself look cheeeeeaaaap!" Fuck off mother, being used and feeling cheap is 70% of the thrill. I probably wouldn't even have this kink if you hadn't kept on at me about being a good girl. So I kept going, through the fish pics, and the attempted trout pouts; through the cuffed trousers, no socks, slip on shoes on holiday pictures, to the ones where the dogs they were holding were clearly trying to get away. It became like a part time job.
I am up to 7 though.
Let me introduce them to you. (This will be anonymised, obviously. It is important to remember that while I am happy to spill my guts on my sexy shenanigans, they have not given permission and so I won't tell you who they are in any way that could identify them).
Number one: good looking lad. Not model material, but respectful and made me laugh. We spent the first part of our conversation swapping shitty dad jokes. I like that about him. If you are going to have sex with ten men, something may go wrong. You want your partners to be able to laugh about themselves and about sex, which, let's face it, can be very funny. Number one is in good shape and has hands I can imagine in my hair, guiding me up and down his cock as I suck it.
Number two: Likes kissing, which is great as he has very kissable lips. He is open, honest (he shared his bizarre celebrity crush with me, but I won't share it with you as some of you may be eating, and I wouldn't want to put you off). He has a rugby players build, and twinkly eyes. And did I mention he really likes kissing?
Number three: Now this guy has model looks. Tall, dark and handsome with an extremely long tongue. Has been swinging for years, and is up for the filthier elements of the fantasy too. To the point "No drama, no strings", I feel like he's got this, you know? Like he is in control of himself and would be able to direct me. And that is hot. Someone who can say "Good girl, take it all" and take the pressure off is a proper turn on and this guy has it in spades.
Number 4: puts me in mind of a young Christian Slater, has fabulous hair, looks FOINE in grey sweatpants and does the best clown air horn impression I have ever heard. This is not as random as it seems. It was down as a skill on his bio, so I made him send a voice note of him doing it. It was wonderful, and showed that he didn't take himself too seriously. And the man is seriously good looking.
As an aside, there are lots of men who didn't make the list. I will have to do a post about why it is a no in so many cases at some point, but please, we don't care about your fish. Especially, and I feel this bears repeating, ESPECIALLY if you are looking at it in a way that makes us believe you want to fuck it. But anyway.
Number five: The Italian Stallion. Dark, swarthy, bloody incredible looking and has a lot of experience where it comes to group sex as used to organise parties. Has a way of talking that is so pragmatic it makes me feel safe. And he has quite the jaw line.
Number six: a younger guy who is just the cutest! He is totally into me and I am unlocking new kinks for him. Older woman? Unlocked. Hearing me speaking Spanish? Un bloody locked. Looking forward to meeting him. So sweet. And I need a bit of sweet. The whole thing is going to be quite intense, so some sweetness is going to be well needed. And I have a bit of a soft spot for number six. A soft, wet, waiting spot.
Number seven: is hot. As in scorching hot. As in shoulders and arms that will make me feel small in them. As in a mouth that I would never tire of. I want that mouth all over me and those big hands doing all kinds of filthy things to me. And he likes my pragmatism. Thinks its hot.
And I suppose it is. I was talking to number six and he was saying that women his age (22, yeah, I KNOW!) aren't into just having fun. He said that they don't get the idea of enjoying sex. I did school him about the patriarchy, and how young women are still finding out who they are sexually and they still have to unlearn the idea that they shouldn't ask for what they want. Then there is me. Older, more assured, knowing exactly what I want and asking for it. Unapologetically. With no shame. None at all.
Still have another 3 plus reserves to choose, but I have another 350 to choose from, and till January to do it.
Now, if only someone else could do the admin.
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