That really is a question, isn't it? There was a time when your intrepid heroine didn't know what it was. It was back in the days of dial up internet and I was talking to a guy called Ray in New Zealand. Things were getting hot and heavy his end and on my end there was screeching laughter while me and my mate egged each other on to write things we were going to do to him. It was all very vanilla in an age of cybersex and eventually, he had me stumped.
"Rim me." said Ray.
And neither me or my mate had any idea what he was talking about. I typed a hurried "yeah, I'm doing that." and then disconnected. We were still laughing but the internet was in its early iteration so I really didn't have much of a way to find out what rimming was, what with our deathly fears of viruses and spyware.
I know now. And I fucking love it. The first time I came close to it was with the ex husband. He liked me licking his gooch, called me a fucking dirty bitch when I did it, but was not letting me actually stick anything in his arse, be it tongue, dildo or kitchen roll holder. Any time I tried to go an extra half an inch, he would shoot up and start yelling about one way systems.
The two guys I was fucking between him and current and forever hubby, well, one of them was utterly sexless, which was fine, but I wish he had told me before we moved in together and the other just wasn't interested in it. I had a woman round and was going to do it to her, but here is a tip for you. If you are coming round for a shag, I would rather you washed your arse than your hair. Another woman, SPN Fan, I just didn't get round to it. Though she has a cracking arse and I would love to put my tongue in it.
So when I started my phone sex work, I made it a mission to introduce men to their assholes.
I would ask them if they'd ever had a tongue in their arse and when they said no, would tell them, slowly, sexily...
"Lick your finger. Is it nice and wet? Good. Now, ever so gently stroke your arse with it and imagine it is my tongue. There you go, isn't that lovely?"
And every single one of them said that yes, yes it was. Some of them would ask for it, and I would sound very happy to describe it because I was very happy to describe it.
You see, I love a man's arsehole. I like the way their thighs tremble a bit as they lift their legs so I can get to it, I love breathing close to it before sending a light flick of my tongue towards it and hearing them gasp. I like to tease them like that a couple more times and then gently run my tongue round it, feeling the ridges contract and release on it. It is just so hot to me to have a man in this vulnerable position with my face between their legs, balls on my forehead and moaning in my ears. Then I lap. Long and slow to start, but faster and firmer as I go along. Now and then I will come up for air and take one or both of his balls in my mouth then go back to licking. And sucking. And gumming (which is far sexier than it sounds). I love the feel, I love the smell, I love the taste.
And just when he thinks this is all that there is to it, I will part his ass cheeks and slide my tongue in. Slowly and soft tongued. And fuck his quivering little asshole with my tongue. There are those on the phone who slide a finger in at that point, sometimes more than one, but the best is my SH. He gets real slutty with it.
He will wriggle and push down and try and get my tongue all the way in there. He moans so loudly that it soaks my cunt with wanting. He is my ass bitch and he knows it and loves it. I let him stand up and lower his ass onto my face while I kneel. His perfect butt cheeks envelop me as he grinds down onto my face. The man is 90% ass and 100% horn at that point. And one of my hands is between my legs, furiously wanking my sopping wet cunt while he pulls at that big meaty cock and we edge ourselves as long as we can before I inevitably cum, screaming into his asshole while he cums all over himself for me to lick off.
We recover happily in each other's arms, and then, when I have feeling in my tingling mouth and jaw I ask him, coyly, cheekily, "shall I get the dildo babe or has your ass had enough?"
Yes! Definitely need to get partner in on this, she gets all the fun! I love rimming her arse, but she's so far on the one way mentality. Hopefully reading this to her will change her mind Dee.