Sometimes, with my fibromyalgia, even if I have got the pain more or less managed, I cannot move. I find a position that is kind of comfortable, well, one I can sleep in at least and let myself sleep or listen to podcasts, or scroll endlessly through social media. I might even watch porn and let myself drift off to a world where I can jump off a wardrobe or swing on a chandelier. In one of my big fantasies, someone actually sorts out the plumbing.
The point is, that even with my big impairment, the one that causes me the most pain, having a flare up, I am still not a sexless being. I am still a woman adjacent person (I will write a post about gender at some point I think) and though it sounds ever so 1970's to say I have needs, it is bloody true. And one of them is to be wildly desired by SH.
It is easier to feel it when I am having a day when I am up and about and can say "babe, bring that cock to my mouth now please" but how am I to tell him I want him to worship me on the days when I can't even find the spoons to move, let alone speak?
I lie on the bed, ass to the world and one leg over the top of the covers. And I call him upstairs to do a chore for me; take my coffee cup down, open or close the curtains for me. Then I look at him from hooded eyes and lick my lips.
And I wait. He knows the signal and I know that he loves how I look when I am positioned like that. If I can I will run my fingers over my ass so he has no doubt about what I want him to do. I might even say something if I can like "needs moisturising".
Then it's on. I pretend to be asleep and can hear him wanking over me. The sound of cock being tugged is amazing and bettered only when accompanied by heavy breathing. It makes me tingle, as does the feel of his hand on my ass as he does it. I want to be worshipped. I want this body that society says is broken and useless, I want it to be fucking revered, and I want the tribute that comes with it. I don't have to wait long. I close my eyes and moan as it hits my ass as a thank you and a well done. My inner goddess is pleased.
Depending on my mood, I might actually nap with it still there and wake up to it, going cold now. I will rub it in and smile.
It really is a great moisturiser.
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