This is one of my older posts (originality published as How Not to be a Dick), that hadn't made it over from the other blog yet. I am still adamant that sexual growth and realisation is something to be celebrated, not something to be annoyed about.
My foursome for this saturday has been cancelled. After all of the finding a fourth, the woman we were going to have it with withdrew.
Not chickened out, not wimped out, not pussied out, decided to withdraw.
I have had sex with her twice and both times were amazing, she's gorgeous and funny and intelligent and she has been exploring her sexual identity and landed on demisexual and demiromantic. That being the case, she decided that she couldn't have sex with someone she didn't know and people she wasn't in a romantic relationship with.
And you know what? There are two ways of dealing with the disappointment.
One is to say "while I am disappointed that I don't get to have sex with you this weekend, I am actually really proud of you for speaking your truth. You could have just pushed on with it and got it out of the way, but you are setting boundaries for yourself and that is something always to be celebrated. As you know, we always ask for enthusiastic consent, and if that is something you cannot provide then it is right that you don't attend our little gathering. The last thing we want is for anyone to be uncomfortable."
Or, you can be a dick about it.
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