I have been wanting to try one of these for the longest time. A vibrator that licks and sucks and needs no instruction that doesn't come from you fingers? Sign me the fuck up.
I was very excited when this baby arrived.
I mean, look at it. Sleek, purple (favourite colour) and promises the most intense orgasm you can have.
I was so excited that I didn't even need lube to try it.
Now, something that you will know about me if you have read my previous posts is that I am definitely a top. I love having a mouth full of clitoris and my oral fixations meant that before I even knew I was for sure that I was bisexual, I had my lip and tongue pierced. I love the feel of a vagina, the labia, the hmm hmm hmmmmmm in my mouth. But I am not always as keen for the favour to be returned. So the idea of having a cute little machine that I wouldn't have to worry was getting jaw ache was just bloody marvellous.
Now, I have a friend who names her vibrators. She had one called Gerald (yep, really) for the longest time and he was a sad looking fellow. Think Anne Summers pink, straight, pointed at the end, twisty bottom for speed. Which had to be delicately turned like a safe lock, or an incalcitrant shower. He finally gave up the ghost and I made sure she didn't replace it with more of the same. We had sent a mechanical dog to Mars in the interim and there was no reason she shouldn't be getting better orgasms. I brought her a wand, which she named Big Tom. And she has not looked back since, though she has had to invest in a waterproof mattress protector.
I tell you all this because I did think about naming mine. However, Best Vibe UK have sent me so many to test for you wonderful people that I would run out of names for them all. If I had to name this one I would call it Purple Penny Garcia after the character in Criminal Minds coz she's gorgeous and has a hell of a mouth on her.
So, to the review.
Slid in very nicely. I like how it feels going in, like something alien but smooth enough and thick enough to sit right on my G Spot. The bit that sits on your clit got me really excited. When I tried it on my finger first it made me giggle. Fucking giggling at 52. At a vibrator.
Lesbian porn on my phone I laid back and started to play. I saw roughly two seconds of the video before my head went back, my eyes closed and my clit was unleashed.
The licking motion is not subtle or gentle. The sucking was not as over the top as I had feared. Together, they were perfect. I thought the build up would come from my clit but no. This build up started right from my asshole, from back to the front it was, I think the word is... fizzy. This orgasm was set to be a tsunami that took my very legs out.
If I had to critique anything it was that the design meant that the sucky licky bit did slip a few times but that was when the wonderful hole through the middle came into play. I put my finger through it and I could guide Ms Garcia to exactly where I wanted to.
And that was it. I roared my orgasm like a lion that just caught breakfast. I had been going for roughly 3 minutes,
The verdict: 9/10
If you want a long, slow, edging wank, this may not be the vibrator for you. It was good, my lord it was good, it was intense, fuck me was it intense, but it was quick. Like if I was fantasising while I used it, she wouldn't have got time to get her bra off in my head before it was over. So if you want a quick, hard, I have had a long day and I am going to treat myself to a bath and a glass of wine after this kind of wank, or a what a shitty one night stand that was, but I can't be arsed to take long about seeing to myself kind of wank then this vibrator is fucking perfection.
It is definitely not going to gather dust in the toy box and I have another two sucky licky ones to review yet! In the meantime, make sure that you use my special discount code DD20 to get 20% off this little beauty and everything else off £39!
Just make sure you use this link to Best Vibe UK
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