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Writer's pictureDee Dickens

Review of the most effective sex toy I have ever used.

This toy is affectionately known by me as The Hammerhead, mostly because of its shape but also because it is deadly and effective.

I mean, look at it! It's official name is Bestvibe Sucking Vibrating Flapping Dual Purpose Wand Massager and the reviews all love it. Well, apart from one woman who only tried it on the tip of her nose and decided it wouldn't be strong enough for her. She gave it to her friend. Your loss mate, honestly.


I don't even know where to start with this. It is quick to charge and quick to get to work. This toy is... eager.


There are two parts to it. One side is flappy and the other side sucks. The flappy side, I didn't think would do too much for me, but when I gave it a go, I was happy to be proved wrong. It was like being gently slapped on the cunt in that way that you might see on porn, but think that it only looks good for the slapper, not the slappee. (Believe me, if the, well, more of a firm pat that a slap to be fair, is done right, it can be very, very good indeed.) The Hammerhead flappy bit was very, very good indeed. But it was just the warm up.


Both sides have ten speeds, much like a bike, and also, much like a bike, I have not yet had to go above 3 of them. You will have to gauge for yourself what setting you want it on, but when you have, lie back and prepare for...


Well, let me just say this. I am a menopausal woman with ADHD. Getting off can, and indeed does take a while to happen. Not this time. Oh no. This time I spread my legs, lifted my knees for comfort and settled in for the long haul. I need not have bothered. I put the sucky bit to my already quite excited clit and, took the fuck off. It is the only way I can describe it. The orgasm was almost instant and it was deep, really fucking deep. I made guttral sounds I hadn't made for a long time. Not since I'd last been double penetrated I think. Having made quite a mess off myself, the bed, my windows, drowned the cats, flooded the street; I thought I was done. But no. This was just the start.


I remember thinking, I should stop before I dehydrate and look like a raisin, but the hand holding The Hammerhead was in collusion with my cunt and was not listening to instructions. I was groaning and flapping and wrestling with my brain to hand co ordination while my cunt was having a whale of a time. She was like, FUCK OFF, WE ARE NOT STOPPING YET BITCH at me so I capitulated to the inevitable and kept going. Until I was no longer a corporeal being and instead was floating atoms. At one with the universe.


Then, and only then did my hand and cunt decide enough was enough and let me sleep. And this is what I did. For TWO HOURS.


So, the verdict.


Was it good? Hell yes. It was well balanced so even while it was in full flow (as was I), my weak wrists were not in pain. It did not set my peripheral neuropathy off. I had that many endorphins flowing through me and that much dopamine released that for a short time I could have run a marathon.


Did I go into fibro flare after? You bet I did, but for once I felt like it was honestly earned and not brought on by just existing. I would suggest that you don't raw dog this, by which I mean, one towel down is not going to cut it. This is a multiple towel situation if you don't want to ruin your bedding.


For those who want to bring sexy toys into the bedroom with their partner, this is the perfect toy for that. Your partner may have a lower sex drive than you, but I can almost guarantee that they will enjoy using this and seeing you absolutely lose control. And it won't take that long, which would make things less awkward too.


So the final score for this strange, unprepossessing looking thing is 20/10. It is my absolute favourite. And if you hit the below button, (like it will hit yours) you can get 20% off it by entering DD20 at checkout.



May your god bless you and all who sail in you.








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