Fuck My Mouth

It is 8pm on a sunday and I am in a weird mood. The kind of mood where I don't know whether to kill someone or fuck them.

This is the beauty of being a big old bunch of hormones and trauma and impairments, with a bit of alexithymia thrown in, you sometimes have to ask yourself, am I horny, or do I just need to pee? If I had to describe this feeling, this feeling right now, bearing in mind I am bad at identifying what I am feeling at any given time, I would say, restless. I am feeling restless.

But no more.

I am typing this in the very unergonomic position of sitting cross legged on the sofa with my laptop in front of me, and this means that Sexy Husband (SH) can look over and see what I am writing.

Him: fuck my mouth?

Me: uh huh. In fact, when I have finished writing, would you like to do just that?

Him: oh, one of those moods is it?

(then he smiled one of those cunt throbbingly sexy smiles)

Me: in fact, come over here and put your cock in my mouth.

SH has never needed asking twice.

Now, as I have mentioned before, he's a big chap is SH, and I love having is cock in my mouth before it gets hard. It is the only time I can get it all in and even then it is a squeeze. But the sensation of a giant cock that is getting hard because of my ministrations is unbelievably hot.

I have AFAB friends who tell me that they like to give blow jobs because that way they have all the power. It is something I have heard for decades. I wondered when I was a teenager first hearing this, honestly wondered why people would see sex as a power play.

As I got older, I realised that there were power dynamics during kink, BDSM, cucking, hotwifing etc, but these women who were saying it to me were in cis het relationships with men that they were supposed to be in love with. It was weird to me.

Then I married a man who used oral on me as a power play, but that quickly became abusive as when I wasn't in the mood for it he would say things like "I will get you to relax and let go if it is the last thing I do." which I realise now, with hindsight, was the last thing he wanted me to do as then he wouldn't have any control, and even then, I never saw it as a power thing when I sucked him off.

I loathe Freud, I think he was a prick, but damn if I am not actually orally fixated. I bit my nails until I started sucking cock, and the happiest I have every been is when I had a cock in each hand and was trying to stuff them both in my mouth. The picture at the bottom is me. I have two piercings in my mouth and I love having them tugged by a lover's teeth.

So, I got interrupted and am now typing with a swollen mouth. Because this was not a gentle, take your time blowjob, it was not a be careful as my wife is disabled blowjob, it was a grab my hair, pull me up and down, make me gag, balls on my chin, fuck my mouth blow job. And I loved it.

What part was the best?

Was it when SH put his cock in my cheek so I looked like a fucking hamster then I rubbed it through the flesh? Was it when he made a sound that sounded like he was wounded when I did it?

Was it when he pulled out for a while and stood over me on the sofa so I could lick his balls and I pulled his arse cheeks apart so I could tongue his hole? Was it how good his arse tastes when I have already had my mouth fucked raw?

Maybe it was trying to swallow his balls while he wanked himself.

No, it was when he literally fucked my face. I love having a man hold my hair so tight that it starts to hurt and to keep my head in one position while my mouth gets an utterly savage seeing to. The drool that escapes on the times he gives me respite from the gagging, so I can ever so briefly catch my breath. I love the smell and the taste of the precum at the back of my throat, knowing that I am going to get to swallow it all down. Because he knows. He knows if I am giving him a blow job during sex, I don't care where his cum goes (but if I am still wearing my glasses, he knows I want a face full, but without the pinkeye); but if I want a face fucking it is because I want to hold his jizz in my mouth and swill it round before I swallow it all down. And he will know that there is something really fucking hot to me about leaning my head back and putting my tongue out like a porn star.

It is always over too soon. When I am in this mood, I want to have my mouth fucked forever, but SH is human and I also like knowing he wants to cum so badly. What can I say? I'm complicated. So I am sitting, still in my awfully non ergonomic position, mouth swollen, lips still tingling, thirsty, but not wanting to drink anything as I would clear the taste of gloriously salty cum. There is a thunderstorm brewing outside and I am going to go out and watch it when it happens. Then hopefully, we can have round two.

I still don't understand about the power thing. Yeah, I might seem submissive when I am having my face fucked and he might seem like a sub when I am slowly edging him with my mouth, but we both love it, every time.

Because if you don't like what you are doing with your mouth, don't bloody do it.

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