A while ago, the wonderful Amelia from Bestvibe UK told me that she was moving accounts and asked me if I still wanted to be an affiliate for the new part, a cups department. Now, if you have read previous reviews, you know I would move heaven and earth for Amelia. She is lovely, patient, and understands when I haven't reviewed for a while because of my health, or family dramas. Of course I wanted to go to the new department with her. This is what you get when you work with someone who understands affiliate relationships.
She told me she would send me the patented cup as soon as it was available. Of course, what with my ADHD and object impermanence, I promptly forgot about it. Until Sunday.
I was having a writing day on Sunday when a parcel arrived addressed to Duct Tape and Daddy Issues. This never fails to amuse the postman and if I answer the door he always ask what I have this time. SH opened the door this time and brought the parcel up and after I finished writing I opened it.
Looking back now, it was obvious, but the words 'cozy' and 'space' threw me.
To be fair to myself, it had been a really long day and the words 'drying' and 'rod' threw me.
The realisation was starting to dawn. It didn't help that I was really not sure what a cup was.
Yes, I know I am holding it upside down. I refer you back to 'it had been a long day'.
I sexily yelled down the stairs that we had a new toy to try and when SH had finished work we got to it.
Packaging
The packaging is always gorgeous. Cupsland have produced something that is smooth, black, chic and high end executive looking. With Bestvibe UK it was the same. Beautiful packaging. A far cry from the trope of fleshlights being used by perverts and truck drivers in seedy petrol station toilets. It is always discreet and always beautiful. In their words,
At Cupsland, We’re deeply aware that beyond physical stimulation, fulfilling sexual fantasies is crucial to the overall sexual experience and pleasure for men. That's why TWIRL always strives for authentic experiences, taking into account the rich desires of men.
The Product
Again, I have never received anything from Bestvibe or Cupsland that wasn't beautifully put together. The reason I am still with them as an affiliate is because this stuff is great. I put it out there with my link, not just for money but because I think everyone deserves better than the tacky shit at Anne Summers and because they just get it. And nothing has changed with this one. It is sleek, smooth, and most importantly to me, it is tapered in the middle so it doesn't hurt my wrist to hold or use it. It is adjustable so the grip can be increased if necessary and the mechanism for that is on the bottom, which is easily accessible when in use and isn't really stiff or difficult to use. Bonus points for that. If my clicky wrists can cope with it, we are onto a winner.
The Test
The first thing I have to say is that this is not something to get you hard, but something to use when you are. We spent a few hilarious minutes trying to get SH's cock in it while it was semi tumescent, but you know what? Laughing is sexy. Sex can be funny and if you can't laugh at it then you are missing out on all sorts of feel chemicals and the chance to be intimate in a new way with your partner. I gave him a hand by administering my mouth and when he was rock solid we slid "she who I wasn't allowed to name" onto his cock. I could tell by his face that he was enjoying it. He has this way of closing his eyes and exhaling when he does which is so sexy, my nipples just went hard thinking about it. He moved it up and down on his cock while I licked his balls and in that moment his breathing increased. Hot. As. Fuck. It was even hotter when I started to talk to him about how I wanted to lick his balls while he fucked another woman. I set the grip to tight and it was story time.
The Verdict
This is a very sexy toy, which surprised me to be honest. SH was never going to cum from it, as he is a big cocked dude and they know that cumming from intercourse can be challenging, but as an integral part of our sex play? I will definitely get it out again before the gang bang in January and use it to simulate him fucking another woman while I pleasure him with stories and my tongue. The cup has come (cum?) a long way since it's bad rap as something that only lonely men use, but fuck it, there is nothing wrong with lonely men using it. The idea that wanking is something to be ashamed of, that it means there is something wrong with you is so outdated and it was wrong in the first place. Wank away people. Enjoy yourself. And if you want to do so with something that resembles vulva and vagina, go for it. You could do far worse than this one too. 9/10.
How to get it to try for yourself.
Click on the picture and to get 15% off, enter DEEDICKENS at check out.
Also, I would be eternally grateful if you could join my Patreon for £1 per month.
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